A question: why do you live where you live?
I came across this in a blog post and it led me to another blog post, this one by Paul Graham. The premise of the post is simple: great cities attract ambitious people. And it got me to thinking, really, why do I live where I live?
I’ve lived in four different “states”, which I have to put in quotes because of the last one on the list: North Carolina where I grew up, Oklahoma where I was sent when I joined Teach for America, California where I had always dreamed of living, and now Washington DC where I moved for a job opportunity and *drumroll please* just bought a house.
I know. I BOUGHT A HOUSE!
If you’ve known me for any period of time you know this is a momentous occasion, because it was never guaranteed that I would make it far enough in life to become a homebuyer (for a number of reasons), let alone that I would manage to settle down in one place long enough to even consider it a viable option. But I’ve been here four years now with no plans or desire to be anywhere else, so my husband and I finally became those people who scroll Zillow in their spare time. We fell in love with a little house from the 1920’s, and we are now officially Washingtonians for life.
DC isn’t a place people commonly settle down in. It’s transient, full of people who come for a moment in time (usually for a government position) and then head somewhere else (also usually for a government position). I wanted to be able to put into words exactly why I decided to be here, when we could have been anywhere else.
Graham writes in his essay that the messages a city sends you are important. Most people who do great things get clumped into certain areas where those sort of things are typically done at the time. Basically if you want to be great, you don’t want to be fighting the force of your city, you want to harness it.
He also lists a few of his thoughts on various cities and what their message is. For DC, he says the message is that it’s all about who you know. He admits that this is just a guess, because he has never lived in DC, but I think his guess is wrong, and I think his assertion that you need to be clumped with other successful people doing the thing you want to be successful in is also wrong. I think the message of DC is all about how you want to make the world better, and I think that’s why its a great place for people who are ambiguously ambitious, or ambitious in a lot of different areas in their lives, to live.
I truly think DC is driven by altruism, and it’s why I’ve decided it’s the right place for me to be. I know, I know, cue collective groans from every anti-government person in the audience. Call me naive, I don’t mind, but if you haven’t lived in DC and are basing your judgement of it off what you see in TV shows or on the news (which is basically just a TV show, but maybe a conversation for another blog post), I understand why you don’t believe me. So here’s my thought process.
The easy argument to make is that DC is a hub for public sector and non-profit employees, all of whom aren’t in their current positions to get rich, but to change the world. Not everyone has the same opinion of what changing the world should look like, but they are all doing what they believe is best and in my opinion any anecdotes that run counter to that fact are exceptions, not the rule.
DC is a happy hour town no doubt about it, and networking is a huge aspect of life here. But in my experience the people you meet in DC are all doing things with their connections, not simply collecting them to climb the social ladder. My connections in DC have helped me in professional and personal situations, including getting me access to exclusive early-stage investment deals and helping me navigate home buying. A lot of my professional contacts have now become my friends. I think this is rare, and I think it’s because of the culture of DC where work is embedded in our identities. A lot of times that can go to far and be a bad thing, but I personally really love what I do, and I like being around others who feel the same.
And even if you hate your job, everyone in DC has exactly one million hobbies and side projects which is also really fun, especially if you know people whose side hobbies include making cocktail syrups, running outdoor events, and writing mystery novels like I am fortunate enough to. The great thing about hobbies and side projects is that you do them because you love them, and in doing that, you make the world a better place. I love that people in DC are just as ambitious about every area of their lives as I am. Like me, they want to excel in their careers but they also want to achieve their physical goals, they want to create things, they want to start new things and lead them. There’s a lot of creative energy in the city, which makes it an excellent place to be if you also have ideas for things to start.
That’s also why I disagree with Graham’s other premise, that you need to be in a city that caters to your areas of interest. With all the access we have to experts, mentors, coaches, and communities online, these seems like a moot point. I also really believe in the power of being around people with different focus areas as a driver for more innovation and change making. I think if your’e ambitious, it’s a good idea to be around other ambitious people. They don’t have to have the same goal as you to be motivating and helpful in your own journey.
Of course, I do think there are downsides to DC. The air of entitlement here is thick. It’s hard to deal with and even harder not to breathe it in yourself. There is also the constant drumbeat of you could be doing more, you could be working harder, that causes us all to feel overworked, burned out, and a little cranky 24.7.
You won’t know the message of your city until you live there. It speaks to you almost by accident; what you see in the windows you walk by, the conversations you overhear, and you are influenced by those things around you. You learn what the city expects of you, and it can be disheartening if that doesn’t resonate with you. Even if you don’t realize it, the message of your city becomes embedded in who you are, and it can fuel you or it can weigh you down. So it’s important for ambitious people to consider their physical surroundings, even if they aren’t quite sure what they are ambitious about yet!
Ultimately cities are just collections of people, and in DC that group is ever-changing. If you’re willing to be part of that change, you can bring new things to fruition. Which is another reason I decided to stay in DC – I believe we can build an amazing, inclusive, and altruistic startup community here, and I want to be a part of it. DC is where movements happen, and I think the next one will be a revolution for tech for good.