Over the past few years it’s become trendy to be anti-New Year’s Resolutions. People seem to genuinely dread the January tradition of reflecting on the previous year and setting new goals for the year ahead, and when the types of goals you’re making for yourself are things like “stop being fat” or “make more money” or “be happier” well, I can see why.
I, however, am not one of those anti-Resolution people. I love the last week of December when the holidays are over, I’ve spent time with friends and family and away from work, and I’m eager to get back to my routine and yes, map out some new goals for myself. If you’ve been a reader of this blog for some time you’ve seen me iterate on my goal-making process (actually, the very first blog post I wrote here when I was 25 was about goals – and then I wrote about it again here and here, and sprinkled throughout many others) and even abandon it a few times. This year I’m really excited about what I’ve come up with, and I wanted to share it as a framework for anyone looking for inspiration, and also as an accountability tool for when that honeymoon phase inevitably ends and I start looking for excuses to quit on myself.
I’ll let the others give their reasons agains New Year’s Resolutions (one I actually like, if you’re looking for that side of the argument, is laid out in this post from Tim Ferriss) but here are my top three reasons why I enjoy them:
- Setting goals starting January 1st ensures I’m refreshed and rejuvenated before I start tackling new things. Goals are hard. They take work and progress can be slow to see. I find that I’m best set up for success if I set goals for myself that begin after I’ve had time to rest, and the holidays for me are exactly that. If you work in late December or find the end of the year particularly stressful, choose a different time when you can pause the regularly scheduled programming of life, contemplate your next steps, and then come back with a renewed sense of purpose and energy.
- Setting goals helps me know what to say yes to, and more importantly, what to say no to. I’m still in my twenties, which I firmly believe should be the decade of “yes” contrary to so much advice out there about the importance of saying no. And yet, I can’t say yes to everything. If you’re like me and tend to get swept along by the tides of all the things you could be doing and maybe want to do, setting goals is a great way to give yourself a defined lane to swim in. If something comes along that helps you with your goals, go for it. If not, think twice about what you’ll be giving up by saying yes to it (because every yes to one thing is a no to something else).
- Setting goals helps me get clear on my values. Part of the reason goals can feel overwhelming is because we don’t think carefully about the motivation behind the goals we choose. Are you selecting goals that resonate with you, or are you selecting goals that the world tells you you should want? On top of that, sometimes we select goals that aren’t really in our control. Getting six-pack abs is not ultimately in your control, as it’s the result of too many external factors that you don’t have any say over. Doing fifteen minutes of core work every other day is a much less sexy but ultimately more motivating and attainable goal that might result in six-pack abs but will definitely be something you can track and measure.
I always start goal-setting by revisiting my core values. If a goal doesn’t fit neatly into a core value, it becomes a hobby, not a mission. I can still pursue it, but only if I enjoy it, and I don’t measure my progress around it. A great example of this is rock climbing. I’ve gotten into bouldering over the past year and while I enjoy it, it doesn’t truly impact me if I stay a pretty mediocre climber for the rest of my life, so there’s no need for me to set a number of times I should be climbing per month or a level of difficulty I should achieve. It’s just for fun.
I have twenty goals for 2023 (I know, I’m aggressive), four for each of the most important areas in my life, one for each quarter of the year. I won’t go into each of them in detail, but here’s a broad outline of what I’m focusing on and hoping to bring about this year:
Work – ownership & leadership
This year I will have been working for my company longer than I have been in any other job combined, which is neat and unexpected. After two years of wandering hopelessly through the virtual world of the pandemic, I finally came into my own in this role last year, so now I’m shifting into high gear to fully establish myself as a leader in my industry. I’ll be in charge of developing strategy for the future of our firm, running a hiring process to expand our team, and I’m also pushing myself to do more external events, especially ones focused on bringing more women into venture capital and the start-up ecosystem more broadly.
I question daily how I wound up in this position, working in a finance-heavy male-dominated job, but the answer remains that it’s become something I’m deeply passionate about, truly enjoy, and want to be the best at it.
Writing – consistency in my creativity
While I always like to have several writing projects going on at once (this blog included), the one I’m most excited about this year is to write a collection of scary short stories. I am OBSESSED with horror movies, but not so much horror books. While I’ve read a few that are excellent, most horror novels feel pretty basic, and I’ve found myself telling Bobby that I could write something better enough times that I think I should actually give it a go. Instead of trying to write fiction daily, which I did last year to get myself back into the habit, I’ve found larger chunks of time on the weekends that I’ll spend focused on fiction, so that my brain isn’t constantly switching between things all day long.
Also, I think it’s sweet that my husband is so excited to read these stories and watch all the gory horror movies with me (as research, obviously) even though he hates all things scary. He’s a keeper.
Fitness – feel fitter in my 30’s than I did in my 20’s
This is really an area I’ve struggled with the past few years and am recommitting to in 2023. When I was 18 I could effortlessly do all the things I wanted to on minimal sleep and subsisting mainly on French fries, but that’s not my reality anymore. The isolation of the pandemic made me much more of a homebody and I got out of the habit of being active consistently throughout the day, leaving me with less energy and some unnecessary weight.
This year I’m doubling down on my commitment to healthy living (starting with dry January, which I’m successfully halfway through!) and I’m also reaching out for a lot of help. I’m working with a nutritionist, talking to my doctor about different health factors I want to focus on improving, and getting lots of support and accountability from my friends who know that it’s better to ask me to join them for hikes and yoga classes instead of happy hours.
Relationships – deepening bonds
Since I moved to DC in 2020 I’ve been dedicated to meeting new people and making new friends. Now that I have a solid group of amazing people here and abroad, I want to spend my year pouring into all the people I love most. For my marriage, that looks like starting a practice of weekly meetings to check in with one another about our relationship, our shared responsibilities, and how we want to incorporate fun into our days since we both tend to get easily mired in working constantly. For my friends, that looks like hosting a quarterly game night and connecting different awesome people to one another around a fun experience. For my family, that looks like engaging fully during the holiday seasons and not letting work or other distractions take over my limited time with them.
Adventure – all the sunshine
I was shocked to realize I haven’t been out of the U.S. in almost 8 years. My passport expired and I didn’t even realize! So I’m fixing that problem by using some of my wedding registry funds to plan a trip with Bobby to South America. That’s all the planning that’s been done so far but I’m excited to make it happen.
Also this year I’m officially labeling us a “outside family” and planning to spend way more time exploring the outdoors. I’ve committed to Friday morning walks so I can spend more time outside each week, and have a list of destinations around DC for hiking and camping.
My honeymoon phase of conquering all the goals is still in full effect, but I’m not worrying about when it will end. I’m soaking up the pleasure of the energy of it, the extra drive it gives me, and I’m celebrating every small win I notice along the way. I know it won’t be like this all year, and I’m ok with that. I know I won’t achieve all twenty of my goals this year, and I’m ok with that too. I like the idea of being ninety years old scrolling my iPad with the font blown up extra-large, reading my old blog posts of all the things I wanted to accomplish in my life, the things I did and the things I dreamed of doing, and all of the unexpected things I never could have imagined in between. I like the feeling of always having something to work towards.