The Sunday Scaries are a millennial term for the feeling of dread and anxiety that hit our guts Sunday night after a weekend of all of our favorite things. We go from non-stop weeks of alarm clocks, offices, appointments and emails to drinking beers, sleeping in, enjoying the sunshine and catching up on episodes we’ve missed (or love too much to let go of).
In my twenties I’ve been a full-time college student, fourth grade teacher, a non-profit manager, a yoga instructor, and now a R&D strategist, and to some degree I’ve experienced the Sunday Scaries with each of these occupations on my weekly schedule. I felt it most strongly when I was responsible for 80+ ten-year-olds and I knew that five a.m. alarm clock was coming for me. Even now, writing this blog post, I feel a bit of sadness saying goodbye to a weekend spent with friends and extra hours in the gym.
The Sunday Scaries are, in fact, scary. They are not fun. But I don’t think they mean that you aren’t where you are supposed to be.
“Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life” is the phrase that I personally attribute a lot of millennial anguish to. For the first time much of our generation was raised to believe that we could do anything and that we had options open to us. We started searching eagerly for the thing that would fulfill all of our needs, financial, mental, social, and spiritual. When one job didn’t check all the boxes (paycheck too low, pressure too high) we dutifully updated our resumes and hopped on board the next most promising ship to sail off in a new direction.
Just like you shouldn’t expect your future partner to provide for everything, you shouldn’t expect your job to provide for everything either. I think the Sunday Scaries stem from that expectation, from the belief that if we aren’t 100% happy 100% of the time there must be something wrong. Instead, I think there are ways we can fill the gaps and assuage our anxieties so that we can head into our Monday’s with confidence and excitement.
Of course, if your boss is a tyrannical nightmare or your desk job is leaving you listless, or you just know that there’s something out there that fits more with your passions and purpose, YOU BETTER DO IT. But, if you’re not looking to jump ship and just want to enjoy your Sunday nights a little more, here are some things I do that help:
Explore your discomfort
When that ugly feeling starts blooming in your belly, take a second to just sit with it. Writer Elizabeth Gilbert describes a process in which she communicates with her feelings. Yogis go for meditation. For me, it’s making a list and then unpacking that list. Usually I go from the “how am I feeling?” List to the “why am I feeling that way?” List to the “what can be done about it?” List.
Get to the root of your less-than-desirable Sunday state and unpack it. Find the reason behind your emotion and tackle one small thing within your control to change it. It won’t fix the entire problem, but it will alleviate some of your worries and allow you to move forward without feeling paralyzed by nerves.
The more you can do this in anything that makes you uncomfortable, the more you can learn about yourself and actually use those emotions to your advantage, #lifehack.
Use Sunday nights to plan your week
If you couldn’t tell from my previously mentioned lists, I basically live to organize. So scheduling time to get organized and focused on Sunday nights was easy for me. Maybe there’s something else you love that you can add in to your Sunday evenings if you’re not a fan of planning. It could be a phone call to your family, or choosing a book or podcast that motivates and inspires you. Choose something that fills you up.
For me, looking at my schedule to find out how to maximize my minutes gets me really jazzed about Monday. I use my goals to plan out my days, and I usually like to geek out and get pretty specific: I mean, I plan EVERYTHING, including when/what I’m going to eat, when I have large chunks of space to focus on longer-term projects and tasks like writing, and of course, gym time. I write out how I’m going to get myself closer to my goals over the next five days, including writing out the title of the book I’m reading and reminding myself that I need fifteen extra minutes after my workout to practice handstand drills.
Doing this has become a wonderful practice in gratitude for me. As I look over my schedule it’s clear how lucky I am that I have the autonomy, but also the self-discipline, to pack in all the things I want for myself and then get after them week after week. And that get’s me really pumped for Monday.
Have a treat and watch a movie
If all else fails, my old Teach for America roommate and I patented the Ultimate Vanquisher of Sunday Scaries: get some ice cream and watch a movie together. I promise you’ll head to bed feeling satisfied and assured that you’re ready for the week ahead.
Aww I miss our Sunday night routine!